Monday, September 12, 2011

I cried for my loss today.
And people all over the world cried for a loss that is beyond a reach I can fathom,
but I cried for my loss today.

Somewhere a child lost a blanket or a bear and cried themselves to sleep for the loss that was more than they could bear,
While others cried out for healing that still won’t come in a world that no longer fosters healing.
And I cried for my loss today.

Someone held the hand of loved one, searching for reason in sickness and death, crying for experiences that will never be, loves that will never be, life that will no longer be
yet still
I cried for my loss today.

I look up to God and I thank him for what I’ve been given and I ask for peace, not only for myself but for those affected in my life. And I pray for guidance and love for those I have hurt and those that have hurt me. I steady fight within my own being to move forward, appreciating life as it is given and I look the past as if it could be a beacon leading me on to a new day, a new life.
And I cried for my loss today.

I remember others’ pain and I try to imagine it, knowing that my life if beautiful and full compared to so many.
I ask a God that I am confused and conflicted by to care for others, heal others, forgive me in hopes that my cries will find their way to a healing ear, knowing that others deserve more than I in this world so filled with despair and anguish, wishing my selfishness could somehow disappear and I could rise to a new daybreak knowing that life is a gift and even the pain that comes with it is a gift of feeling that some have lost along the way.

However I look at myself and I know that I cannot wish my angst away and I cannot drown it in the angst of others. I have to face it dead on and give it the attention that it screams for
So again I stopped
And I cried for my loss today.

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